Holland was blinking lazily, oddly content and calm where he was laying beside the younger man. One hand held his head, the other traced along one scar and then another.
But then bis brows rose in amusement and he murmured, "I can't believe you liked it."
Kell studies Holland and exhales a laugh, an actual laugh.
“I can’t believe it either,” but he’s not embarrassed he enjoys it still
somehow despite it being strange and something he’d never have anticipating
liking.
He leans over and kisses him softly, almost too tender.
Genuinely happy emotions being expressed are so foreign at this point that Holland doesn't react at first. But the sound is sweet, and the fact that it's coming from Kell of all people makes it mean more. Kell wasn't as jaded as he was, but he still wasn't a bubbly ray of sunshine either.
There was a comment on the tip of his tongue but the kiss gives him pause and he melts slowly into it. Leaning to make sure it lingers as long as possible.
"Kell," he sighs softly and reaches to cup the back of the others head, keeping him close, "If there is a way...yes. If there is not...you have to let me go."
Kell lets their foreheads press together after the kiss. He wants to stay
in the happy moment a while longer but the weight of what’s to come, the
idea of letting Holland go feels impossible.
“There has to be a way and we will find it. I need there to be a way,
Holland.”
He waited for him so long... Maybr not for this exactly but for something.
Hope was a dangerous thing to have. Something he didn't allow himself. But in this moment, a small part of him wondered if it would hurt this time as much as it had all of the others.
Hollands eyes closed and he just rested there against Kell, matching their breaths; in, out, in, out, calm...
"Delilah wouldn't approve, you realize." And Delilah was...Kell was really hers. Whatever this was...it wouldn't leave this cabin. "Even if you did save me, she would find another reason to kill me off."
“Delilah can surprise a person,” Kell says softly and he knows it’s
difficult and maybe it wouldn’t matter. How is he supposed to choose
between them. The thought of doing so makes him feel broken already. He
doesn’t want to focus too much on that.
“I need you to live. If we can survive this I can help you survive Lila.”
Holland gave Kell a look, "I'm not so weak that I couldn't survive Delilah." He was more than capable; more powerful and he had something neither of them had as much of: experience.
But he shifted and settled down a bit better on the cot beside Kell, pulling him closer so that he could get comfortable. Pillowing his head on his arm as he carded his fingers back through Kells hair, "We can try to think about this later. For now...just...stay right here. Unless you want me to go. They will notice I'm missing eventually."
“You know what I mean, Holland,” maybe it’s more he can find a way for them
to coexist in general.
“Don’t go,” Kell says leaning into the others fingers briefly as he curled
into the other more. “I’m sure you can stop anyone from getting in.”
For the first time, Holland realized that their eyes were almost a mirror image. Where his black eye was on the left, Kells was his right and for some reason there was something he liked about that detail.
"Mm, I could. But we both know if I did, it would just make things worse. For all they know I could be trying to kill you," he murmured as his body moved on its own accord to gather the younger man closer against him, nosing into his red hair and breathing in the sweet scent of the Red.
"When the reality is quite the opposite at the moment," he breathed and even more tension bled out of his muscles, "I'll keep them out."
Kell closed his eyes and he feels enveloped by Holland in every way. He’s
almost prepared to make his own attempt at making sure no one can get in
preemptively but he feels reassured by Holland agreeing.
His hand came up, tracing scars along the other’s side. “I just want to
stay here as long as we can.”
“We can,” Holland says as he tangles them up better.
This is something he could get used to if he had the opportunity. Fingers toying with beautiful red hair, sweet scents, calming breaths, strength and softness at the same time.
Closing his eyes he nestled in, foreheads touching lightly, “Be a good boy and sleep for a while.”
Kell felt complete in a way he never had as their bodies tangled , fingers
on skin, in hair. He still felt like they were one like they had been when
Holland was inside him.
“You can’t call me that where people can hear,” he murmurs but he is tired,
sore even though he should heal fast. He tucks in just a little closer,
they can’t really get more more.
But it doesn’t take much for him to fall into a light sleep then.
Holland idly watches as Kell falls into sleep. His brow is relaxed, face soft, and Holland is surprised by the urge to protect him. Only this time he wanted it not by pushing him away. He wanted to keep him close, safe.
One hand absently traced a wave of red, the shell of an ear, forward over a cupids bow...
Sometime later, Holland awoke to a knocking on the door. No one would be able to get in but it didn't mean they wouldn't find a way.
Nudging Kell, he murmured, "Wake up baby boy, the door," then slipped away to pull on his clothes--at least the pieces that made the most sense. Perhaps he had come and stayed for conversation?
Kell woke, smiling just a little when the other called him baby boy again.
But the knocking had filtered into his senses never quite sleeping
completely deep, though it had felt... safer than normal with Holland
holding him.
“Damn,” he murmurs because it means relinquishing his touch. He reaches for
his own clothes, dressing and trying to make himself and then his bed
presentable as quickly as possible. He steals a kiss and then goes to the
door so he could figure out who it is and why they need and he knew Holland
would be leaving.
On the contrary, Holland had no plans of going anywhere. First of all, he didn't want to get fully dressed, and second of all Kell was really the only one who could handle him--therefore being here was the safest option. And Kell could easily lie and say he wanted to keep an eye on him.
Once he was dressed enough, his brain briefly stuttered at the kiss before he sat back down on the cot like he had been sitting there for hours and not laying in it...naked...wrapped around...
Kell looked annoyingly adorable post nap, and Holland actually fought the urge to smile over it.
Kell notices that the other isn't fully dressed before he does open the door. So when Alucard is there looking particularly annoying and disgruntled Kell lies and twists the truth until he's managed to convince Alucard to leave them be at least for now. He closes the door again and lets out a heavy sigh as he looks over at Holland.
He'd really never been the best at bald-faced lying.
It could use some work but that seemed to be enough.
Holland waited until the door was closed again before he murmured something to seal the door again. He didn't so much move, as beckon the other Antari back over.
He was too far away too quickly.
"Say you do save me, Kell..." he begins quietly, "Am I to be your dirty little secret? Sneaking between Londons in the middle of the night?"
Kell doesn't fight Holland on it, settling into his lap and quickly relaxing into the hold as his head rests on his shoulder.
"Travel is not so difficult for us...or for me if you are King then you wouldn't be able to leave as often. Would you make me choose between Lila and you?" Kell asks carefully.
And he knew it wouldn't be knowledge to the general public, though, too many would not be pleased after everything that had happened.
Unconsciously pulling Kells hips closer, he hummed quietly and rested his head against the others.
Being King was never his goal. He didn't want that. Would he step into that role and at least get the ball rolling? Definitely. But ultimately he just wanted...things to be better, easier, less broken.
The question startles him briefly and he has it in him to scoff.
"No," he replies easily, "and even if I did forbid you, Delilah would most definitely have my head for it."
He quiets, a seriousness falling over him before he continues, "No. I wouldn't deny you that connection. She is unbalanced, too sharp, too impulsive," he breathed, "but, you're good for each other."
Kell relaxed in Holland's hold. There's something so safe in it, something he'd been seeking and he couldn't get over the fact he had it and now that he did he's desperate not to lose it again. One of his hands searches out one of Holland's to hold, lacing fingers together if the other allows it.
"I think... she wouldn't make me choose either," Kell says carefully. He knows that she understands him, she'd understand this too. She always needs more. Perhaps Holland is his ship, just happens to be a person.
"And you are stable, controlled and calculated. I need you both."
Holland doesn't see it, but his fingers curl and fold to meet that lacing. The hold is both soft and strong and he closes his eyes upon realizing that he...is slowly allowing himself things that he thought he was too broken for before.
He didn't so much hope, as wish that this could continue. Somewhere not on a rocky sea in a stupid boat in the middle of almost no where.
Holland couldn't exactly run away from it, at least. Not without tossing Kell right onto his ass or something overly dramatic. And it was nice. The touch.
But he can feel the amusement radiating off of Kell and he frowns, brow furrowing with the start of an argument but what comes next is actually very true.
However, Holland considers Kell more...in line with him than anyone.
"If I never have to be on another ship, I would not be at all disappointed."
Ships were horrible things. Rocky, sick machines. Even now, just thinking about it his stomach was getting more uneasy.
"Be careful with Delilah. She wields magic without any thought or hesitation and her control is utter garbage," he scoffs and tips his head back against the cabin wall, "She bites off more than she can chew."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 03:29 am (UTC)From:But then bis brows rose in amusement and he murmured, "I can't believe you liked it."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 04:00 am (UTC)From:Kell studies Holland and exhales a laugh, an actual laugh.
“I can’t believe it either,” but he’s not embarrassed he enjoys it still somehow despite it being strange and something he’d never have anticipating liking.
He leans over and kisses him softly, almost too tender.
“Will you help me keep you alive?”
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 04:07 am (UTC)From:There was a comment on the tip of his tongue but the kiss gives him pause and he melts slowly into it. Leaning to make sure it lingers as long as possible.
"Kell," he sighs softly and reaches to cup the back of the others head, keeping him close, "If there is a way...yes. If there is not...you have to let me go."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 04:55 am (UTC)From:Kell lets their foreheads press together after the kiss. He wants to stay in the happy moment a while longer but the weight of what’s to come, the idea of letting Holland go feels impossible.
“There has to be a way and we will find it. I need there to be a way, Holland.”
He waited for him so long... Maybr not for this exactly but for something.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 05:02 am (UTC)From:Hollands eyes closed and he just rested there against Kell, matching their breaths; in, out, in, out, calm...
"Delilah wouldn't approve, you realize." And Delilah was...Kell was really hers. Whatever this was...it wouldn't leave this cabin. "Even if you did save me, she would find another reason to kill me off."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 05:09 am (UTC)From:“Delilah can surprise a person,” Kell says softly and he knows it’s difficult and maybe it wouldn’t matter. How is he supposed to choose between them. The thought of doing so makes him feel broken already. He doesn’t want to focus too much on that.
“I need you to live. If we can survive this I can help you survive Lila.”
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 05:17 am (UTC)From:But he shifted and settled down a bit better on the cot beside Kell, pulling him closer so that he could get comfortable. Pillowing his head on his arm as he carded his fingers back through Kells hair, "We can try to think about this later. For now...just...stay right here. Unless you want me to go. They will notice I'm missing eventually."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 05:42 am (UTC)From:“You know what I mean, Holland,” maybe it’s more he can find a way for them to coexist in general.
“Don’t go,” Kell says leaning into the others fingers briefly as he curled into the other more. “I’m sure you can stop anyone from getting in.”
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 05:50 am (UTC)From:"Mm, I could. But we both know if I did, it would just make things worse. For all they know I could be trying to kill you," he murmured as his body moved on its own accord to gather the younger man closer against him, nosing into his red hair and breathing in the sweet scent of the Red.
"When the reality is quite the opposite at the moment," he breathed and even more tension bled out of his muscles, "I'll keep them out."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 06:18 am (UTC)From:Kell closed his eyes and he feels enveloped by Holland in every way. He’s almost prepared to make his own attempt at making sure no one can get in preemptively but he feels reassured by Holland agreeing.
His hand came up, tracing scars along the other’s side. “I just want to stay here as long as we can.”
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 06:24 am (UTC)From:This is something he could get used to if he had the opportunity. Fingers toying with beautiful red hair, sweet scents, calming breaths, strength and softness at the same time.
Closing his eyes he nestled in, foreheads touching lightly, “Be a good boy and sleep for a while.”
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 07:07 am (UTC)From:Kell felt complete in a way he never had as their bodies tangled , fingers on skin, in hair. He still felt like they were one like they had been when Holland was inside him.
“You can’t call me that where people can hear,” he murmurs but he is tired, sore even though he should heal fast. He tucks in just a little closer, they can’t really get more more.
But it doesn’t take much for him to fall into a light sleep then.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 03:51 pm (UTC)From:One hand absently traced a wave of red, the shell of an ear, forward over a cupids bow...
Sometime later, Holland awoke to a knocking on the door. No one would be able to get in but it didn't mean they wouldn't find a way.
Nudging Kell, he murmured, "Wake up baby boy, the door," then slipped away to pull on his clothes--at least the pieces that made the most sense. Perhaps he had come and stayed for conversation?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 04:18 pm (UTC)From:Kell woke, smiling just a little when the other called him baby boy again. But the knocking had filtered into his senses never quite sleeping completely deep, though it had felt... safer than normal with Holland holding him.
“Damn,” he murmurs because it means relinquishing his touch. He reaches for his own clothes, dressing and trying to make himself and then his bed presentable as quickly as possible. He steals a kiss and then goes to the door so he could figure out who it is and why they need and he knew Holland would be leaving.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 04:28 pm (UTC)From:Once he was dressed enough, his brain briefly stuttered at the kiss before he sat back down on the cot like he had been sitting there for hours and not laying in it...naked...wrapped around...
Kell looked annoyingly adorable post nap, and Holland actually fought the urge to smile over it.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 06:21 pm (UTC)From:He'd really never been the best at bald-faced lying.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 06:41 pm (UTC)From:Holland waited until the door was closed again before he murmured something to seal the door again. He didn't so much move, as beckon the other Antari back over.
He was too far away too quickly.
"Say you do save me, Kell..." he begins quietly, "Am I to be your dirty little secret? Sneaking between Londons in the middle of the night?"
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 06:46 pm (UTC)From:The question surprises him and he frowns. He brow furrows.
"There is very little I can keep truly secret anymore," he says, his hand rubbing at the mark through his tunic. "I don't want you to be..."
Perhaps Kell wants for too much, hasn't he always?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 06:50 pm (UTC)From:"I don't have to be a secret," he adds, "but there would be a lot of travel involved."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 06:57 pm (UTC)From:"Travel is not so difficult for us...or for me if you are King then you wouldn't be able to leave as often. Would you make me choose between Lila and you?" Kell asks carefully.
And he knew it wouldn't be knowledge to the general public, though, too many would not be pleased after everything that had happened.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 07:09 pm (UTC)From:Being King was never his goal. He didn't want that. Would he step into that role and at least get the ball rolling? Definitely. But ultimately he just wanted...things to be better, easier, less broken.
The question startles him briefly and he has it in him to scoff.
"No," he replies easily, "and even if I did forbid you, Delilah would most definitely have my head for it."
He quiets, a seriousness falling over him before he continues, "No. I wouldn't deny you that connection. She is unbalanced, too sharp, too impulsive," he breathed, "but, you're good for each other."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 07:14 pm (UTC)From:"I think... she wouldn't make me choose either," Kell says carefully. He knows that she understands him, she'd understand this too. She always needs more. Perhaps Holland is his ship, just happens to be a person.
"And you are stable, controlled and calculated. I need you both."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 07:31 pm (UTC)From:He didn't so much hope, as wish that this could continue. Somewhere not on a rocky sea in a stupid boat in the middle of almost no where.
"...and I hate ships."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 07:34 pm (UTC)From:"I'm not a huge fan either but I take to them better than you," Kell smirks a little bit to himself.
"You two are complete opposites and I feel somewhere in the middle."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 07:40 pm (UTC)From:But he can feel the amusement radiating off of Kell and he frowns, brow furrowing with the start of an argument but what comes next is actually very true.
However, Holland considers Kell more...in line with him than anyone.
"If I never have to be on another ship, I would not be at all disappointed."
Ships were horrible things. Rocky, sick machines. Even now, just thinking about it his stomach was getting more uneasy.
"Be careful with Delilah. She wields magic without any thought or hesitation and her control is utter garbage," he scoffs and tips his head back against the cabin wall, "She bites off more than she can chew."
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:...
From:Profile
May 2020
Page Summary
Style Credit
Expand Cut Tags